I’ll start us off. I think it’s important to explore what we learned about grief in our family or from significant people in our life as we grew up. Often we don’t question these influences and they impact our process of grieving in a way that’s no longer helpful to us.

From my parents I learned you don’t cry, but it’s okay to express explosive anger and abuse alcohol when grieving. I learned to be stoic or if I had feelings, I was supposed to hide them and cry alone. You never talk about your grief. I never saw my mother cry unless she was peeling onions. When my dad’s sister died, he laid on the couch and let silent tears drip down his cheeks. When my brother, John, died my youngest brother was not allowed to attend the funeral.

-Jacqueline Werket